Cancer journey … and beyond …

In Memory

Celebration-of-Life Planning/ Memorial
  • WHEN: On Saturday Nov. 23rd at 2:00pm we will have a celebration-of-life/ memorial service for Sam. All are welcome.

  • WHERE: This will take place at Westwood Church here in Prince George (map).

  • A legacy fund in honour of Sam is being established for those who would like to give gifts.

  • Please share with us your memories of Sam.

  • Note: It is our intent to have this time live streamed and recorded.

All are welcome
Additional details to follow

Death of our Mighty Warrior

Oct. 8, 2024. Our most loved mighty warrior has gone to be with Jesus.

Today, in the early morning
   Tina and I sat with Sam.

Despite his body being
  racked with disease
  and his near inability to communicate,

We had a beautiful time of sharing with him.

We expressed our love,
  our pride,
  the joy of life that we had with him.


In that time
We gave him the freedom
  to let go,
  to move on.

Tina and I saw it.
The precise moment, 7:10am, that
He moved beyond our reach.
  without fear
  without pain or suffering.

Courageously he let go of us.
  And jumped into the eternal
   Love of God.

Samuel Justin Colin Chisholm
Loved and mighty warrior.
2008-11-25 – 2024-10-08
What we need

In this intense time we need:

  • You to come close to us. We need to know you are with us. Practically speaking send us your notes of love and encouragement.
    Don’t think that we are getting too many messages. We might not have capacity to respond but we will read them all.
  • In the face of fear choose courage. We are. Sam certainly did.

For an overview of this journey see the timeline.

Don’t have our contact information and want to reach us? Use this form.
Note: if you do know how to reach us, use our email, or message us (no need to use the form).


Post: The Hard and The Good

It is all so hard and yet there is good.

Nov. 5, 2024

It has been four weeks since Sam died. Tina and I have been home for just over two weeks.

Life remains hard, incredibly hard at some times. Yet, there is also good.

These days over the last weeks have almost had some rhythm to them. Emotionally, our days typically start with a general sadness at the loss of Sam and through the morning the waves build such that we feel the acute pain of losing him – that his presence is missing in our home. Throughout the day, It is not surprising but the experience is shocking, new waves can hit at almost anytime and without warning. These waves of grief may have specific memories associated with them – sometimes they come without explanation. It is in these waves that our tears flow and we give each other the freedom to cry.

In parallel to these teary times, we have a morning routine of sharing coffee, reviewing, and building plans for our days. Despite the waves we push on – together. Each day we continue with:

We are going to have a great day – O Yeah! 1

And we do.

The Hard

Family vacation in August of 2022 above Okanagan Lake on the Kettle Valley Trail.

There is no way around it. The loss of Sam is incredibly hard. We love him so much and we have lost our ability to communicate that love. … And so we cry.

The grief is also of all the lost hopes. The loss of things we planned to do with Sam. The loss of dreams we did not even know we had for him but when confronted with life events our hearts cannot escape – Oh how I wish we could have seen Sam … fill in the blank… And so we cry.

The grief often leaves us feeling lost.

The Good

Shane Lake near Prince George this past weekend.

Despite these pains we have continued to move forward each day. We have done this together. We have also done this with the support of our community – incredible friends and family who are making a point of being with us. They invite us or allow us to invite them into one another’s lives. In these days since we have come home we have:

  • Gotten out for walks. In the neighbourhood. In the woods. Sometimes just the two of us. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes with Sam’s friends.
  • We have paused to open beautiful messages or cards reading how Sam was loved and how we continue to be loved and cared for.
  • We have gotten together with friends and family to:
    • Share coffee or meals.
    • Celebrate a birthday.
    • Play games.

There are moments when getting together can feel ‘normal’ – but they are not. Yet our community is so gracious with us. We all pause to recognize that life is not the normal that any of us wanted. A huge part of our lives is missing.

These pauses are important.
  Important for Tina and I to share our pain and in doing so
  allow friends and family to carry it with us.
These pauses are important.
  Important to allow our people to express their pain
  for our entire community feels the pain of Sam’s absence.

There is a solemn beauty in sharing our grief together.

Although we hurt we are blessed with many beautiful caring people.

Sam is loved. We are loved.

Victories and Heart Aches

  • Our hearts ache. We are committed to moving forward but this is hard work.

  • We are thankful for the extraordinary effort of friends and family to gather around us to care for us.

  • We are thankful for many messages of care and solidarity with us as we grieve.

  • We are thankful for many special messages reflecting what Sam has meant to people.

  • We are thankful for the simple precious moments we had with Sam.

  • We are mindful of friends and families – those that remain in the fight to see their children through incredible health challenges (cancer or other). We hope with you and we will continue to celebrate your wins!

  • We are mindful of friends and families – who have seen their children die. That they are in similar grief storms. We grieve with you. Our hearts break again for your loss.

  • Thankful for great times, especially for Sam:

    • Cedars Grade 11 trip (Sept 8-11): Our soul-hearts have been refreshed! Filled with the love of friendship. It was incredible to see Sam have time with his friends from school. The students and the leaders from Cedars have lifted/blessed all three of us.
    • It was amazing to see Sam join the Ness Lake Bible Camp team (July 28 - 31) . He served, ran, talked, played – he got to be fully there! Many thanks to the NLBC team who welcomed him in. When Sam needs to think of a happy place he returns here in his mind and he is quick to share stories of these days.
  • We are thankful to the medical team here at BC Childrens’ Hospital. Sam never lacked for incredible care.

  • We are thankful for all the days that we lived at RMH.
    It was a gift to have a place to stay so close to the hospital. The Ronald McDonald House (RMH) provided us a home away from home. This place is an amazing example of charity at work.

  • We long for the day when
    Our hearts ache. We grieve. Yet Sam is free of disease.


Oncology Families

A special note to all of the families that we have travelled with – to those in their own storms.

Know that we stand with you.

  • We will celebrate each of your wins – we hope and pray your warriors have a lifetime of wins.

  • Should you ever find yourselves on a path of grief – we will grieve with you. I hope you never have to travel this path. Yet I know some will. And you will not be alone.


Support

Become a donor

Sam’s life has been saved numerous times because people have donated blood or bone marrow. Consider becoming a donor. Perhaps you can save someone’s life!

Financial Support

Here we include options to provide financial support including: cancer research at the BC Children’s Hospital, the Ronald McDonald House, Friends of Children (support for families from Northern BC), or to support us directly. We have been blown away by the generosity of so many. We also love the support provided in words of encouragement. Please feel free to send us notes of encouragement. It is impossible to thank you all enough.


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Footnotes

  1. see our post: On Grief, Courage, and Love↩︎